Back and better than ever!

...or at least we will be.  The re-start is really paying off in a lot of ways, and even little things are taking leaps and bounds.  It's kind of a strange process because with some of the exercises it takes a little work, but you can really see when Jazz starts to get it (like with moving from her shoulders, which is awesome by the way! she can do full circles to both sides now that she gets it), and with other exercises it takes more time and effort and consistency, but I can see gradual improvement all the time (like with respecting my space, mostly when I'm asking her to change eyes without pushing her shoulder through me), and there are other things that we have essentially done before that she just gets in no time at all.

For example, we've been doing groundwork with Jazz wearing the saddle for the last few lessons, and we do an exercise that involved having the lead rope across the seat of the saddle and working on lateral flexion.  I remember the first time we introduced this exercise, my trainer told me to stand back while she tried it because some horses can get very fussy about it, but Jazz was a superstar!  Once she really had a handle on the flexion, we worked on flexion with a little pressure where the leg goes asking her to move her shoulders, and she was pretty good with that as well.  We also did an exercise with putting the rope around the far side of her body and around the hocks and asking her to calmly turn around to the pressure and come back to face me with no theatrics, just calmly turned back and then waited in her own space.

She's been just awesome for the last while, although not without a few small exceptions.  The occasional warning nip still comes out when she isn't pleased with me, and last week one day and I was working her on the lunge when she started rearing again, but not to worry, I just stuck with her and corrected, and she gave up on it pretty quick and went back to trotting quietly until I was done with her.

But on her good days she has been much better! I've even ridden again a few times, and started up on bridle work again, including breaking at the poll to contact (a noted weak point of hers, but we'll get there).  Just very short rides at a walk, but she seems like she is very nearly back to her old self (with even a few notable improvements to boot).  Onwards and Upwards from here!

New Tactics

Well, I've been avoiding this post for a couple days.

I'm still kind of avoiding it honestly.

I've been a little... shaken? I think that's the closest word I can find.  I just think I've lost some of my confidence.

Where to start?

Good news.  That's always a good place to start.  I think it's about time I started riding again.  I really think I'm getting close.  I've missed it a lot.  It's been much too long.

This is the part where I put the less good news.  I just feel like I've screwed up.  In reality, probably not really.  In my mind, a lot.  I just think I've been pushing too hard at the wrong things.  I've been working on some things lately that are hard for Jazz, and I think I've just been forgetting that too often.   She has a really hard time backing a) straight and b) sometimes just in general, and I've been putting a fair amount of pressure on her to do so lately.  I just think I've been putting too much pressure on her, asking too much without enough reward for doing what I'm asking.

Jazz is a sensitive horse.  She can really easily get overloaded, and I just don't like the idea that I've been overloading her.  On the bright side, (okay this next part may sound a bit counter-intuitive, but just hear me out) Jazz is a really expressive horse.  This means that if she is not pleased with something, she will make that fact very clear to me.  Those of you who have been reading a little while will recognize these objections as head tossing, rearing, blasting forward through her shoulders and most recently, biting.  Believe it or not, as much as I don't love these behaviors, I find them a million times more preferable than the alternative.  There are a lot of horses who simply aren't comfortable expressing themselves in this way, so they just trudge along quietly disapproving until eventually something sets them off and they have a huge blowout.  Comparatively, Jazz has the easier of the two problems to work out.  She's not a horse that lacks confidence in herself, all she needs is a little structure and direction to channel her into doing productive work.

So I think It's time for a little re-evaluation on my part.  I stopped riding because Jazz wasn't being safe and respectful on the ground.  Now she's getting closer and closer to safe, and quite honestly the biting only comes out when I'm really pushing her to back, so why aren't I riding yet? She is a thousand times better about respecting my space and listening to me on the ground.  She's not perfect, but has any horse ever been perfect, really? I think I need to discuss a new strategy with my trainer, but at least I know that now.  Better to try a new direction than to keep pushing against a wall.

Thing to work on # 5
Knowing when I'm just not heading in the right direction and when to reevaluate

Positive spin

Well they can't all be good days.  I apologize in advance because as much as I'm going to try not to whine and complain, I can't guarantee my success rate in actually accomplishing that goal.

So as you may have gathered, I had a less than encouraging trip to the farm today.  Jazz was just weird and spooky and SASSY.  Oh my god was she sassy, swishing tail, a very clear stomp of her back feet and a few pushy episodes from her shoulders, plus something new that I'll talk about in a second.  It was just discouraging, and I'm sorry to admit that it just got to me today, and I got a bit frustrated.  Is it too much to just ask for a couple of weeks of steady improvement, even just one week? Is that so much to want?

But I'm getting sidetracked.  Here's something positive: She didn't rear.  Not even close.  No big dramatic 'you're killing me here' head throws or anything.

Here's something less so:  she's found an alternative now that rearing is work.  She tried to nip me.  Five times.  It's so frustrating that I almost want to scream.  Would it have been so bad for her to just not have a big, dangerous avoidance maneuver for a week? a day? I tried to do the same thing I do when she tries to pop up on me, where I just yield her hind end until she really gives with both crossing her feet and bending through her body a bit.  Of course she then tried to bite me while I was at her side moving her hip, but luckily I had anticipated she might, so she wasn't able to actually get her teeth on me.  To be fair, she didn't actually get her teeth on me at all, they were warnings, but even so it still isn't EVEN REMOTELY ACCEPTABLE.  

So needless to say I was a little discouraged and frustrated and very done by the time I let her go.  It just sucks that we're taking one step forward and now what feels like about six steps back.

But to the point: as the title of this post suggests, I would like to try to put a positive spin on the day now that all of that is out of my system.  I did get a bit frustrated and emotional today, but this is the first day in recent memory that that has happened.  This time last year, I was also having a lot of troubles with Jazz (she really is not a January/February horse whatsoever), significantly less dramatic troubles since she had yet to add rearing and head tossing and now biting to her arsenal.  Anyway, I had hit some real road blocks in our training, and I was having a hard time getting someone to help me, and I felt like I was making no progress and Jazz was regressing and it was all my fault and all that sort of very un-fun stuff to be feeling. It got to a point where I would have weeks that I didn't even want to go to work with her because I was just going to be allowing her to get away with bad behavior that I had no idea how to fix and it didn't even seem worth going to the farm just to feel useless and powerless and go home upset again.

That was supposed to be the positive part of the post.  Oops.  Anyways going back to the good part, compare that to this one day out of pretty much all of my recent memory where I felt things didn't go well and got a little emotional while I was working with my horse.  One day.  No weeks turning into about a month of no progress and endless frustration.  One.  Day.  I guess it's not so bad as all that.

Things that are getting better # 3
Pushing emotions aside and just getting what needs to be done accomplished

That being said, Thing to work on # 3
Pushing emotions aside and just getting what needs to be done accomplished (today was big proof I'm not there yet)

Thing to work on #4
This new biting habit.  Nip it in the bud (get it? nip? Oh, I'm too funny).

Plus some good things happened after I left the farm that definitely helped my mood.  Look what came in the mail today!

 I ordered this "Gumiponi" as they are lovingly called from Custom Stall Signs on facebook and was so thrilled it arrived!

It's so cute! It's way tinier than I was expecting.  

I absolutely love their stuff! I also ordered a custom stall sign complete with adorable caricature of Jazz

Jazz lives outside, so her stall sign lives on my Jazz wall of fame.

 Plus a few months back they started collaborating with another awesome facebook page to offer custom embroidered saddle pads and hats.

Look at it though! Adorable! 

Jazz approved.

For those of you who haven't caught on to my obvious product placement yet, go to their page go now.

And speaking of things I got in the mail today, I couldn't help but laugh at the cover of the horse magazine that came in the mail for me today.

A little attitude adjustment is just what I'm needing right about now.  

We'll get there. I know we will.